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My latest photo, me kinda showing off my goofy side
(which hasn't happened in a long time). |
Sorry for the long wait on an update! I have been sick. I always get sick because of this disorder! I actually went to the doctor because it had gotten really bad. My female doctor wasn't in, so I had to see the male doctor (I don't like male doctors).
"You have a virus. I'll give you some medicine, but I don't think it will help." Gee, I had no idea I had a virus! Oh, and thank you so much for medicine that probably won't help. I really appreciate it! I am still kind of sick, but it's mainly just my throat. I always tend to have a lingering cough and sore throat even weeks after sickness.
Anyway,
I am on recovery! I have been for a little over a week now. My emotions are
intense! I will be steaming mad, then a minute later I will be laughing like a clown. Next thing you know, I am sad. I am on an emotional roller coaster! But as far as my body, it seems that the weight is going to my stomach. I'm guessing I'm kind of bloated right now? But it sucks that the weight has to be my stomach, since that is where I am the most self-conscious (and a root to my eating disorder, as I always wanted those "perfect abs"). But I am making sure to wear larger tops and just to avoid looking at my tummy as much as possible. I am also trying to avoid looking at any super-skinny people that I see on TV or other entertainment. All they do is make me more depressed, since I am not that strong yet. I actually made a quote out of nowhere yesterday:
"A person's beauty is like a bag of M&M's. Sure, the design of the bag is nice, but what everyone finds the most attractive is what's inside it." I don't know how I came up with that, but I did! And I really like it. I even submitted to a quote application, and it says I have many hits and that people have sent it to others, so that makes me happy that something I said is liked by others.
Another thing is that I am going to see a counselor (female, thank God) in a couple days. I am very nervous about the whole idea of having to talk about me and my selfishness, but we'll see how it goes. I am trying to be open (which seems to be a problem of mine). I will keep you all posted, and have an amazing day!
